


Through the Looking Glass

by Hoodedscarlet



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Opposite Personalities, Amnesia, Concussions, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Intentional Out of Character Behaviour, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 05:43:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4654533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoodedscarlet/pseuds/Hoodedscarlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Generally everything is hunky dory in the Achievement Hunter household. The six guys all have their routines, as chaotic and bizarre as they might be. In the end though, they're all together and they all love each other very much. Anything after that? Nothing really matters. But recently something just... Hasn't felt right.<br/>One day after Michael slips and falls at the office that very thought is brought to the forefront of everybody's minds. Why is Michael acting so strange? A concussion is one thing, but this is entirely different.</p>
<p>And the answer? Nothing they could have ever expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the Looking Glass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [glackedandmullered](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glackedandmullered/gifts).



> Originally written for glackedandmullered/mogartrash's Michael Jones Fic challenge. Unfortunately, I lost steam, shit happened and so here we are!  
> This fic was brought together by two prompts - the prompts I chose from glackedandmullered for the challenge; nosebleed, nightmare, dizziness, magic, Panic Attack, crying, AU, lost (so basically all of them lmfao) and also the 8th prompt out of spiderjockey's graveyard located[ here.](http://spiderjockey.tumblr.com/grave)  
> Note the second one is kind of spoilery, so don't look until after if that bothers you!
> 
> Apologies that this couldn't be out earlier but it's here now - so enjoy everybody! B)

It looked like it was going to be an off day for everybody - and it started from the moment Jack woke up.

  
While the older man loved nothing more than to sleep in on a normal weekday the man’s body clock always ticked true, waking the man when the sun was first beginning to kiss the horizon. It was something he always enjoyed; in a house as full as theirs moments of quiet were few and far between. Less pleasure was taken in extracting himself from the bed however as he pulled himself away from Geoff’s side, wriggling out from under Gavin’s torso before clambering out over Ray and heading to the shower. Usually he was well awake by that point, but this morning the dregs of sleep clung to his shoulders and made his feet drag - what he wouldn’t give for today to be a weekend so he could snuggle into the warmth of his boyfriends and forget about the world for a few more hours.  
  
Alas, it was not, and so Jack had to prod himself through his normal morning routine that today felt so much more difficult. Flick on the shower to heat, brush his teeth, step into the spray and let the water work at his back as he soaped his body up. Usually, this would be when Ryan would come join him but the Gent was absent today. It was somewhat understandable considering his insomnia made even his best days of sleep temperamental at least, but it didn’t change the fact he missed the voice rough with sleep as he watched the bubbles spiral down the drain.  
  
It wasn’t until he had wrapped a towel around himself that the aforementioned Gent made his way into the bathroom, rubbing at his eyes and blinking owlishly at the light in a way that made him look years younger than he was. Despite that he was quick to peck Jack on the lips; he pulled away moments later with his mouth puckering. A hilarious combination, considering his actions were still slowed by sleep.  
  
“Ugh, toothpaste.”  
  
“Morning to you too, sleepyhead.” Jack said, crow’s feet crinkling. “Missed you.”  
  
“Sorry dear.” Ryan replied, reaching out and squeezing Jack’s hand. “I slept later than I thought I would. Forgive me? I’ll take you out to lunch, just us two.”  
  
“There’s nothing to even forgive, don’t be ridiculous.” Jack said, squeezing back. “It's been awhile since we’ve been out for lunch together though, let’s do that. Now, you shower, I’m going to go put the coffee on.”  
  
Turns out, even that was a difficult today; he couldn’t fuck up boiling water (if he could, he would’ve) but the filters he usually used to strain out the ground beans had decided they weren’t going to sit properly and far too much of it got into his actual drink. Even making another had him repeating the same mistake so fed up he sat down with his coffee and muesli, trying to ignore the grit in his teeth.  
  
“Man, you look like you’re about to fuck up that bowl of cereal. What did it ever do to you?”  
  
Jack just flashed a sleepy grin at Geoff who had made his way into the room and was fixing up his own breakfast. “I feel like breaking another bowl after what happened last night wouldn’t be a good idea.”  
  
“Yeah, Gavin really needs to learn how the fuck to do dishes properly. I’ll need to buy more wine glasses this weekend - those were the last ones that Lindsay and Barb gave us when we first moved in here.” The gent sat down with his standard morning coffee - milky but no sugar - as he continued. “We’ll probably be able to live without getting more bowls but we’ll see.”  
  
“Ew, you guys are so gross and domestic.” A familiar voice said, their young Puerto Rican partner plodding into the room. He had his purple Twitch sweater on today - if the way his hair still looked like a mop and his glasses sat skewiff on his nose was any indication he was just as ‘willing’ to get out of bed today as the rest of them.  
  
“Hey, if you didn’t live with us you wouldn’t have to listen to it.” Jack replied.  
  
“Nah, you guys feed me.” Ray said, flopping down into the seat next to the redhead. “I’m not an idiot, free food’s free food.”  
  
“Since when did paying in blowjobs count as ‘free’?”  
  
“Hey, now that’s just getting technical!”  
  
Ray tapered off after that, letting the two Gents talk domestic. When Ryan walked in a few minutes after he instead settled for playing footsie with the older man - it was kind of hilarious see the man trying to look unimpressed while simultaneously trying to pin Ray’s foot under his own. It wasn’t until nearly quarter of an hour later, when Jack was onto his second cup of coffee to try and wake himself up and Ray and Ryan were munching down on toast that Gavin trapsed in, a bunch of ‘good morning’s being passed around the table as he settled down and joined in the conversation.  
  
All eyes were on Michael when he walked in though; of course there would be considering he was the last one to arrive but he looked… Off. He’d pulled on a green t-shirt and jeans but they were rumpled and didn’t sit right. it certainly didn’t help either that there were bags under his eyes dark enough to rival Geoff’s, magnified by his glasses. The frames were an odd color but suited him well.  
  
“You alright, buddy?” Geoff said, swinging back in his chair to pat the Lad on the back. Michael just shrugged, shaking his head.  
  
“Nah, not really.” He replied. “Good enough though. Just a bit dizzy, I think they got the wrong prescription on my glasses when I got my new ones on Wednesday.”  
  
“You sure? You’re pale as hell, maybe you should lie down for a bit and see if it passes.” Jack suggested.  
  
“What do you think I’ve been doing for the past half hour?” Michael said, before shaking his head. “I would wear my other glasses but the arm is really fucked and my contacts went out of date two weeks ago. I can survive until tomorrow to take these ones in and exchange them.”  
  
“I’ll take you first thing in the morning.” Ryan offered. “You really look like shit, I’m surprised that you’re out of bed honestly.”

  
“Clearly you’ve underestimated the mighty Mogar then.” The redhead joked weakly. “I’ll be fine guys, don’t worry.”  
  
“We’re your boyfriends.”  
  
“Good point.” Michael said, huffing before cracking into a smile. “You’re going to worry more if I say that, aren’t you?”  
  
“Probably.” Geoff said, shrugging.  
  
“Eh, I’ve been through worse with you shits.” Michael replied, shrugging in return. “And hey, if I’m lucky maybe it’ll wear off in the next hour or so. I shotgun the front of Ryan’s car though - I’m not dealing with that swerving shit you do today Geoff and last thing I want to do fucking upchuck all over the back of the seats.”  
  
“Sounds good to me. Although Michael?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Your shirt is on backwards.”  
  
“God fucking damnit.”  
  
-x-  
  
“Have you seen Michael?”  
  
The words made Ryan and Jack stop in the middle of the door, looking at Ray with a combined look of surprise and worry. They’d been gone for the good part of an hour - when they’d left the younger man had just been editing a Rage Quit.  
  
“No, why?”  
  
“Nobody’s seen him since you left.” Ray said. “We’re supposed to be filming HORSE but he left to get something and he’d disappeared off the face of the earth. Probably getting head in one of the bathrooms but he’s not even replying to his phone.”  
  
“Have you asked around the office?”  
  
“Yeah, and nobody else has seen him either.” Ray replied. “So if you could look around for him, that’d probably be a good idea.” He tried to pass off the words as causal but the two Gents could easily see the worry behind the words. Jack passed him the paper bag he was holding.  
  
“We grabbed some burgers on the way back, go take a load off and we’ll have a look around.” Jack said.  
  
“You kind of look like you need it.” Ryan added. Ray just smiled weakly, before giving a little wave and moving off. Before he could though, Ryan caught his hand, pulling him in and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “It’ll be fine, okay?” He could practically feel the relief seeping into Ray’s muscles and while it didn’t disappear completely the older man felt a little better about letting him disappear into the Achievement Hunter office after that.  
  
It turned out that wherever Michael had disappeared to, it was conveniently somewhere where nobody had no idea where the fuck the man had gone. Between the five achievement hunters they had scoured every office and hallway between the different buildings; even the toilets had been checked, with nothing to show for it. Needless to say everybody was on edge - there was a tenseness about the office that couldn’t be defused, a spring coiled, a fuse slowly ticking down. It wasn’t until Ryan on a whim checked one of the supply closets that he felt his stomach drop to his feet.  
  
At first Ryan hadn't even seen Michael, only the various props that had collapsed from where they had fallen off the shelves. Clearly somebody had knocked them over, maybe while reaching for a higher up one and left the mess for somebody else to clean up. One of the new interns, probably, although it made Ryan fume momentarily. But then as his eyes adjusted to the light he saw a flash of auburn and heard a groan and suddenly he didn’t care about the mess, didn’t care about anything except the fact that Michael was under that fucking mess. He was shoving the shit aside, he didn’t even _care_ if something broke and oh god he could see blood fuck fuck _fuck-  
  
_ Somebody else started helping him and it took Ryan a few moments to realise it was Geoff, face stony as started moving the props away from Michael’s body. Ryan shuffled over to the boy’s head, hands flighty.  
  
“Michael, can you hear me? Michael?” Ryan said, and he didn’t even realise until he began speaking how much his voice was shaking, how he couldn’t keep still as his hands trailed over Michael’s body, unable to stop himself from touching the man in front of him but knowing he shouldn’t move him. Michael just groaned again in response, but god there wasn’t a word for the amount of relief that Ryan felt at the noise because it meant that Michael was _alive,_ Michael was _okay_ and he was seriously doubting that was going to be the result of all this a few minutes ago.  
  
“Listen buddy, we’re going to get you out of here and we’re going to get you home okay?” Geoff said, going to rest a hand on Michael’s shoulder. But the younger man flinched at the touch, curling into Ryan further as his eyes squeezed shut. Ryan flashed a grimace at the shocked looking Gent. Michael’s body was shaking; Ryan could see blood on his face and his panic only subsided a bit when he realised it was a nosebleed. His red shirt fooled him for a moment that it had gotten on his clothes as well, but he thankfully realised before his panic could kick into the next gear.  
  
“Michael?” Ryan asked, brushing his hair aside. “Babe, what happened? Do we need to call an ambulance?”  
  
“No.” The reply was instantaneous, mumbled into the fabric of Ryan’s jeans. “I’ll be fine. Just slipped on the box.” He made a vague gesture to his side; Ryan could see one box strategically placed next to one of the shelves. Considering the fact that shelf was now empty and there was a serious looking bruise on Michael’s face underneath the blood, he could guess what had happened.  
  
“Can you stand Michael?” Geoff asked, genuine concern in his voice. He didn’t move to put his hand on Michael again.  
  
“I think so.” He said. He managed to pull himself into a sitting position before clutching the back of his head and groaning. “Ugh, I’m dizzy.”  
  
“I should have taken you to get your prescription changed this morning.” Ryan muttered. Michael went to say something but. “Come on, you’re halfway there.” With the two Gents’ help they managed to get him to a standing position, Michael leaning heavily on Ryan’s side with his head buried in the crook between his shoulder and arm. They were just making their way out of the closet when Gavin appeared around the corner.  
  
“Boi!” Gavin exclaimed, grinning. Michael just buried his face in response to the sounds, groaning loudly again.  
  
“Not now Gavin.” Geoff said softly. He could see Jack and Ray round the corner to the hallway they were in, watching their faces contort from brief relief to fear to worry in the timespan of about three seconds. “Michael’s in shock at the moment.”  
  
“But Michael-”  
  
“-Has probably got a concussion and really isn’t going to appreciate you yelling at him.” Ryan interjected, giving the Brit a look. He quickly backed down after that, flashing Ryan an apologetic look. “Can you tell Burnie that we’re going to take the rest of the afternoon off?” Gavin nodded.  
  
“Meet you at home?”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
“Is he going to be okay?” Ray interjected. His eyes flickered worried over the other man’s face - while it was dried, there was still a lot of blood on Michael’s face and with parts of his face already starting to bruise it really wasn’t the prettiest picture.  
  
“Just hit my head, don’t worry.” Michael said, the words mumbled and weak. “I’ll be fine.”  
  
“I’ll believe that when the doctor tells me that, buddy.” Geoff said, patting Michael on the shoulder. “Let’s get you in the car, okay?”  
  
-x-

 

A cold press, painkillers and rest. That was what the doctor had prescribed, since thankfully the doctor had deemed Michael’s concussion mild enough to be treated at home. Not for the first time Ryan was thankful that it was a weekend the next day, although this was probably the most… Unique reason for that thought. It calmed Ryan somewhat to know that he and the others would be able to stay home and keep an eye out for Michael, even if he didn’t want to be babied.  
  
But Ryan had never seen Michael like this, squirming in his seat as he looked out the window. The golden yellow of the sunset illuminated Michael’s face in a way that completely dashed any hope he had of hiding his anxiety, a permanent knot in his stomach that showed on the young man’s face. He squirmed in his seat in the same way one might an uncomfortable chair, hand flighty as they rested on his lap. Yet he didn’t say a word; unusual for a man that was quick to let everybody around him know exactly what he thought.  
  
“Is something wrong Michael?” The redhead shot up like he’d been shocked, eyes locking with Ryan’s frightened before he seemed to register the words that had been asked. It didn’t make him sink any lower in his chair - if anything it seemed to make him more nervous as he mulled over the words in his mouth.  
  
“I, uh… Aren’t we heading the wrong way to my apartment? I don’t think I have enough stuff at Geoff’s to last me the night at the moment… I am going to Geoff’s and not just home, right?” Ryan wasn’t sure whether’ Geoff’s face was more offended or confused at that comment and as he stopped at the red light he turned to face his younger boyfriend.  
  
“Michael, we’ve been living together for a couple of months now.” Geoff said slowly, looking at the younger man’s face like if he stared hard enough he’d get an answer to the question of what was going through his head right now. “ And even if we weren’t I would _never_ leave you alone like this. You’re a fucking mess dude and I’m not leaving you alone like this.”  
  
“Sorry sorry sorry!” Michael spat out quickly, eyes wide. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”  
  
“Michael, are you okay?” Ryan asked, genuine concern crossing his face. “You’re acting weird.”  
  
“I’m fine, honestly!” He insisted. “Just… Shaken up a bit I guess? Like, weird memory things from my fall… Or something.” He trailed off, worrying at his lower lip as he looked back out the window. Ryan peered at him for a moment longer, eyes searching before he sighed and turned back to face the windshield. He caught Geoff’s eye as he turned and the older man gave him an equally confused look. Ryan just shrugged. Michael was probably right - it’d been a really off day for all of them after all and the pale tinge to Michael’s skin hadn’t quite faded. If they thought Michael was acting weird, he probably felt a whole lot weirder. A good night’s sleep would probably help a lot - help all of them, actually.  
  
Michael was dead to the world the moment his head touched the pillow when he got inside; Ryan was glad he’d gotten him to shuck off his shoes at the door because otherwise it would’ve never happened. Plus, while he would’ve still done it Ryan felt a little better tucking Michael wearing socks and not shoes into the guest bed. When he walked out, Jack had already finished dinner and the other four were dishing up - Geoff didn’t cook Friday nights and it was Jack’s turn this week to take over. Ryan was somewhat thankful for that - while he didn’t mind takeaways (Ray) or a completely burnt meal that was amended for by takeaways a few hours later (Gavin) tonight he just felt like some good ol’ hearty food, to try and end the day with some resemblance of normality.  
  
But as they sat down at the table, Ryan realised quickly this wasn’t going to be the return to normality that he was hoping for. If anything, there was a weird sort of tension that was thick over the table. It wasn’t the sort that Ryan was used to defusing either though. Sexual tension he was adept in, considering he’d basically been the one to singlehandedly get the six of them together. Anger tension was rarer but more easily sensed, and if that was the case Jack would have stepped in and calmed that before he even stepped in the room. No, this was wary, confused tension; the sort that Ryan could only compare to those first few weeks of the six of them getting together. Tentative words, worries of crossing boundaries far more extreme than what actually existed. Even then it didn’t entirely encompass the feeling as the five of them ate in silence. Finally Gavin - of course it was Gavin - spoke up.  
  
“So, what was even going on with Michael today?” He asked. “You guys seemed all blimmin’ twitchy when we finally found you. Did he bite you or something?”  
  
“No.” Ryan said, stirring around his pasta with his fork. He’d eaten a few spoonfuls - it was actually really delicious and no doubt he would devour it later if he couldn’t sleep - but a troubled mind made his stomach turn and the food taste unbearably bland in his mouth. “Michael was just… Weird when he was talking to us.”  
  
“He didn’t even remember that we’d been living together for who knows how long now.” Geoff continued. “And he seemed fucking convinced I was going to drop him off at his place and jet it. I wouldn’t do that even if I wasn’t fucking him, even if I was still just dating Jack. He’s out of his fucking mind!” Geoff fumed, mouth thinning. Jack squeezed his thigh; the man slowly relaxed.  
  
“That’s really strange.” The bearded man said calmly. “Are you sure that the doctor said nothing about memory loss or anything?”  
  
“If anything he said that it was actually one of the more mild concussion cases he’d seen, and Michael’s dizziness was probably coming more from a bunch of other things like his glasses prescription being off, the nosebleed he had and coming out of shock. Memory loss wasn’t even mentioned once.” Ryan said.  
  
“And he’s not even acting like himself.” Geoff continued. “Like he was quiet as dicks in the car, dude. Really jumpy too - I didn’t even know that Michael had a jumpy bone in his body.”  
  
“Are you sure we didn’t just kidnap his identical twin?” Ray piped up.  
  
“I don’t know, but he’s really out of it.” Geoff said. “Maybe he’ll be back to normal tomorrow?” Geoff could tell that Gavin was completely sceptical , Ray not far behind, but Jack seemed to be taking their words seriously. Albeit with a pinch of salt, but that was just a good general practice around their household in general.  
  
“I guess we’ll see, won’t we?”  
  
“I guess so Jack.” Ryan replied. “I guess so.”  
  
-x-

 

Understandably, Michael didn't get up until quite late the next morning. Geoff and Jack had headed off to grocery shop for the week, leaving the two other lads and Ryan at home. Honestly, if he hadn't been sat at the dining table to read he was pretty sure he would have missed the redhead creeping into the kitchen.

 

"Morning, sleepyhead."

 

If he thought Michael had been twitchy yesterday, it was nothing compared to now - the man gave a yip and jumped a foot in the air, and he didn't seem to relax very much at all when he realised who had spoken. He moved lightly around the kitchen, pouring himself a half glass of orange juice and putting some bread into the toaster. He paused to read a post it note from Geoff on the fridge; telling Michael that he hoped that he felt better, and could he put out some meat to defrost for dinner tonight? His fingers thumbed over the paper, before sticking it on the metal again. His actions were neat, compact - they didn’t sit quite right on Ryan’s shoulders but he kept the thought to himself.

 

"Morning Ryan." He said quietly, flashing Ryan a smile. The action reminded Ryan of the way that a dog would flash it's teeth when upset and the thought did nothing to calm him, especially now with Michael’s bruises darkening.

 

"How are you feeling, babe? Sleep well?"

 

"Fine, fine."

 

"Was the guest bed comfortable enough for you? I know I like it when I end up passing out on it but you don’t usually use it."

 

"Yeah, it was comfortable enough."

 

"How’s the swelling? Is your face feeling okay?"

 

"It's alright?" Michael seemed to squirm uncomfortably under the attention - Ryan couldn't tell whether that was because he didn't want the attention, or didn't expect it. "I'm fine Ryan, you don't have to worry about me."

 

"Like hell that's going to happen." Ryan replied immediately. "Even if you didn't look like absolute shit you still weren't in the bed last night. At the very least, I missed you.”  
  
“Why would you miss me out of the bed though?”  
  
“You’re a space heater Michael; I’m pretty sure that Jack was hogging the sheets because you weren’t cuddled into him - I had to go get extra blankets out because of that!” That certainly caused Michael to look up, pure confusion written all over his face.

 

"If I'm sleeping with you guys don't I sleep on the end? Like, next to Ray?"

 

"We tried that once when you were sick." Ryan said. "Ray moved around so much that you couldn't sleep all night. You ended up fainting the next day - how do you not remember that?"

 

"Uh, silly me." Michael said, letting out a breathless laugh. "I think I might have some memory loss after all...?"

 

"We should probably get you back to a doctor pretty soon-"

 

"No honestly, it'll be.fine.” Michael was quick to interject. “I mean, it hasn’t even been twenty four hours yet since this happened. I’m still all achy and horrible, it's not exactly like I’ve recovered. Seriously, don’t worry. It’ll all be back to normal soon.” Ryan wasn’t sure whether Michael was trying to convince him more, or himself.  
  
“You need to stop saying that.” Ryan replied. “I’m going to worry. That’s my job, babe.” Michael went to retaliate, but seemed to rethink that decision at the very last second to mumble a quick ‘okay’ and if anything had thrown up red flags for Ryan more than anything else it was that reaction. He stood up, slowly crossing over to where Michael was standing buttering toast with his back to him. He didn’t even seem to realise he was there anymore. Ryan put a hand on his shoulder.  
  
“Michael?-”  
  
“ ** _Fuck!_** ” The redhead exclaimed, dropping the knife to the floor as he flinched back from Ryan’s hand and oh, Ryan could explain away the reason Michael had flinched away from Geoff in the closet, half conscious and injured but this? He couldn’t explain the violent reaction, the flash of something surprised and then fearful in the man’s eyes that quickly turned guilt ridden as red flushed his cheeks. Ryan couldn’t tell whether that flush was from fright or shame at his own reaction. And Ryan just couldn’t find the words to explain the shot of pure _hurt_ that went through him at the action - what had happened? What had he _done_?  
  
“I’m so sorry Ryan, fuc- I mean god I didn’t mean to- I thought...” Michael said, before shaking his head and darting out of the kitchen into the hallway to leave Ryan standing alone in the kitchen with a piece of half buttered toast and orange juice. His hands shook. He didn’t notice.  
  
After some deliberation he left the food out on the bench, a napkin slotted underneath as he too retreated.  
  
-x-  
  
Michael didn’t come out of his room really for the rest of the afternoon. If he did, nobody noticed; Ryan seemed to be the only one who knew anything about it but he was tight lipped on the subject, telling Geoff when he walked in the door he’d talk to him later. That was certainly nothing new; Geoff and Ryan confided in each other a lot but the fact it was about one of their boyfriends? Unusual _and_ worrying. Ray and Gavin had retired from their Halo escapades for the moment, Gavin having spread his Phantom equipment across the dining table as he tinkered while Ray was drinking a glass of water and peering over Gavin’s work, quizzing him on the different components. It wasn’t until the redhead walked in that Ray’s eyes flickered up.  
  
“Hey Michael. Good day?” He asked. Michael replied with an half enthused ‘good’ adjusting his glasses before ducking into the kitchen; having lost his glasses somewhere between here and work it looked like the man had chosen to wear his old glasses instead. Going to the kitchen was a good idea, for Michael anyway. It had the least people in it by far; with Ray and Gavin at the table and the Gents spread out across the sofas in the adjacent lounge it gave Michael room to breathe - he probably wanted the space, with the injuries he got. The excuse felt bitter in Ray’s mouth though since Michael was usually even more clingy than usual when he was sick, if experience had anything to say about it. There was a reason he slept on the other side of the bed to Michael; he loved the asshole dearly but the man was like a limpet. Instead he watched Michael make himself a sandwich, wolfing it down in a couple of bites. Did he not eat the food left out on the bench for him?  
  
“Michael, want to come sit with me?” Jack offered, patting the sofa next to him. After a moment of hesitation Michael nodded, trotting over to the seat and perching on the edge of it. That didn’t fly with Jack though; a persistent hand pulled the smaller body against his. He almost thought it a bad idea too as he felt Michael’s body lock up - had he aggravated his head? But his fears were dashed as Michael made a content sigh and snuggled into the Gent. Jack could feel the tenseness leak out of his muscles and he returned to the conversation that Geoff and Ryan were having happily.  
  
“Look, all I’m saying is that our backyard is bare as dicks now.” Geoff said, scratching his chin as he gestured vaguely. “I know we just moved in but summer’s coming up you know! How are we going to have people over when it looks like that?”  
  
“Well maybe we should start with planting a few more things.” Jack said, laughing. “Not putting in a fucking _pizza oven_.”  
  
“Shut up, you know we’d use it.”  
  
“We would get tired of pizzas in about two weeks.” Ryan said. “I mean hell, I’m surprised we’re not sick of your barbeque yet.”  
  
“Excuse you Ryan-”  
  
“Oh shut the fuck up you know I didn’t mean it like that.” Ryan replied, eyes glinting. “What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t underestimate how big they can get.”  
  
“And look at the size of our fucking yard!” Geoff said.  
  
“Look how many people like in this fucking house!” Ryan retaliated. “Look, maybe in a few years, but I’m not committing to a pizza oven just yet.”  
  
“Hey, if it’s going to taste better than Papa John’s I’m down.” Ray interrupted from where he and Gavin were. Ryan rolled his eyes.  
  
“Really not helping.”  
  
“Well then, we should at least get _something_ to put out there beside plants.” Geoff insisted. “Like you know Griffon does all her chainsaw carving, we could talk to her.”  
  
“Now _that’s_ an idea.” Jack said enthusiastically. “Her work is incredible!” Michael made a noise of approval from where he was cuddled into Jack’s side and Ryan seemed to wholeheartedly agreed as well; Geoff seemed understandably pleased by the turn in conversation.  
  
“I can flick her a text after I’ve started on dinner to see when she’s busy if you guys want, unless we want to sit down and figure out what we want specifically… Although who the fuck am I kidding, if we tried doing that we’d be here all night and Griffon would probably still choose for us!” Geoff said, throwing back his head with a laugh that the others joined in on. Once it had tapered out though his attention was directed at Michael.  
  
“Hey buddy, did you put out the meat to defrost like I asked?”  
  
The change in the man was instant; Jack could feel him go from lax to stiff as a board and he looked down at Michael’s face in concern. But even that didn’t help him because the young man’s face had gone uncharacteristically, worryingly black save for his eyes which were just a bit too wide. Jack could feel his breath increasing too - what was happening?  
  
“Michael…?” He asked, moving his hand from where it had been resting on the back of the couch to Michael’s shoulder. However the man acted as it it was an electric shock, jolting back from where the contact was made. His breaths were getting faster now, going from inaudible gulps to noisy wheezes; even Gavin had looked up from his tinkering considering how quickly the room had gone quiet.  
  
“Michael, buddy?” Geoff said, and the confusion and hurt was evident on his face.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Michael said, and it wasn’t a voice that any of them had heard from Michael before - it was pained and scared and so, so small; it trailed off as Michael apologised again and again over and over as the words were jumbling together. Jack looked up, made a shooing motion at the men; Michael needed space, Michael needed privacy and he wasn’t getting either right not. Geoff was about to protest too, worry on his tongue but his eyes met Jack’s and they were _hurting_ \- Geoff didn’t know what was going on but neither did Jack. Neither did Ray or Gavin or even Ryan but whatever it was it was serious but the right way to tackle this wasn’t altogether all at once. Geoff closed his mouth, nodding before moving out of the room with the others not too far behind him.  
  
Jack hoped the action would help but it seem as if the opposite was true; Michael was visibly shaking now, shrinking back from Jack into the cushions at the other end of the couch.  
  
“Babe, what’s wrong?”  
  
“He’s mad at me.” Michael said quietly. He’d pulled his knees up into his chest; he stared at his jeans with unfocused eyes.  
  
“Geoff? He’s not mad at you.” Jack reassured. “He’s just worried.”  
  
“I didn’t get the meat out.” Michael replied, and Jack could see the man’s knuckles going white, his fingers digging into the meat of his thighs. “First I fell and hurt myself then I pissed off Ryan and then I piss off Geoff. I don’t want to hurt you too Jack, I don’t want to _fucking_ hurt you.” After a moment his eyes widened again, before he launched back into a string of apologies punctured by ragged gasps of breath.  
  
“Michael, Michael please you’ve got to breathe-”  
  
“I _can’t_.” Michael said, and he was crying now, fat tears rolling down his face as he shook so hard it looked like he was going to fall apart.  
  
“You got to Michael _please”_ Jack insisted, and he didn’t know what to say anymore because fuck he was so out of depth “breath with me Michael, can you do that? In and out, nice and slow with me.” It felt so stupid to over exaggerate his breathing like this but he was grasping at straws here. But he could hear Michael’s ragged breaths starting to sync up with his, spatted with staccato breaths as he hiccuped another sob. But he was _listening_ , that was the important part, Jack was taking his mind off whatever was going on in Michael’s head and it was _working._  
  
That was where the two of them sat for the next little while; how long exactly Jack wasn’t sure because time wasn’t as important as Michael was. Nothing but silence breached the gap between them, broken only occasionally by Jack making another statement - “Breathe in, breathe out.” “That’s it, you’re doing so well.” “Just focus on my voice.”. Slowly Michael’s arms began to unwind from around his body, slowly he inched closer to Jack until he leaned back into him of his own accord and this time he didn’t shy away as Jack’s hands came down, stroking down his side and ruffling his hair. At one point Gavin poked his head, gesturing to the kitchen with a questioning look on his face. Jack just nodded, before shooing him away again.  
  
“How are you feeling Michael?” Jack asked quietly.  
  
“Dizzy.” Michael replied. “Tired, Thirsty… Really thirsty.”  
  
“We’ll get you a drink.” Jack reassured him. “Are you okay if the others come back?” That seemed to make Michael freeze up again, much less so than before though.”  
  
“Are you sure Geoff- they aren’t mad at me?”  
  
“Positive.” Jack said without a second thought. “We’re just worried for you, is that too hard for you to believe?” Michael went to open his mouth, however he seemed to think better of it at the last second and shut it before nodding.  
  
“I’m sorry you had to do this.”  
  
“It’s okay Michael. I just wasn’t expecting you to have a panic attack, but I guess its been a weird week for everybody. You don’t have to apologize.” The two of them stood up, Jack looked over Michael again. He seemed… Better, but he still carried himself awkwardly, as if he wasn’t quite comfortable in his own skin. “Would you prefer to lie down until dinner?”  
  
“That sounds great actually Jack.” Michael replied, and it felt like for the first time there was some trace of genuine happiness in his features. “Call me when dinner’s ready?”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
He passed by the other five coming back into the room; Geoff was at the back of the pack. He looked worried as Michael passed, the bags under his eyes even more pronounced than normal.  
  
“You know I’m not angry at you, right bud?” He asked, playing with his fingers.  
  
“Yeah.” Michael replied quietly. “I’m sorry Geoff, I’m just a bit out of sorts. I’ll be back to normal in no time.”  
  
“I hope so. Miss you in bed.” Geoff said, pausing before adding. “I love you.”  
  
“...I love you too.” Michael said after a moment, face lighting up as he smiled. With that he turned to walk back to the guest bedroom; Geoff could hear it click shut behind him and for a moment it struck him like a blow to the gut how _desperately_ he wanted to go after him, be with him in the room. The relationship between the two of them was one of the most tactile of the bunch, and it hadn’t even been a day but it already felt like something had been torn away from him. He craved Michael’s touch, his kiss, the way he’d call him ‘daddy’ with that shit eating grin while they went about their everyday. The pain passed but the ache remained, and he made his way into the living room where the other guys were sitting around the table.  
  
“This feels two seconds off an intervention, jeez.” Geoff said, trying to break the tense atmosphere as he slid into his seat. It didn’t really work - in a way, he honestly wasn’t expecting it to.  
  
“We just need to talk.” Ryan said.  
  
“Yeah yeah, I know.” Geoff said, waving his hand. He wasn’t fooling anybody though; they could all see the worry in his ever-tired eyes. “He’s not quite right, is he?”  
  
“Do you really have to put it like that?” Jack said, arms folded over his chest.  
  
“Well, how else am I supposed to put it?” Geoff replied. “He’s just having a ‘bad day’? We all know that’s not true so let’s skip the crap. Michael’s not himself, fuck he’s acting like some of the guys from my army days and that’s _not_ a good thing.”  
  
“He’s acting like a bloody mouse, that’s what.” Gavin said. “Like if he says something wrong one  of us will bite his head off - it’s ridiculous!”  
  
“And to think Michael’s always the one biting our heads off. Who would’ve thought?” Ray said, the smile he put on quickly straining before falling away completely. “You don’t suppose this is…”  
  
“Permanent?” Ryan asked, before sighing. “I really don’t know. Amnesia is a hard thing to place. He could be better by tomorrow or it could take weeks, months. Possibly even years; it’s too early to tell just yet. Honestly I’m surprised it’s this bad - considering how put out Michael is over this I would have thought the doctor would have noticed.”  
  
“The whole head thing doesn’t seem to be that bad though?” Gavin said.  
  
“And that’s what surprises me.” Ryan said. “He doesn’t seem to be that bad off physically. Mentally, however, it seems to be a different matter.”  
  
“God damn Ryan, your technical mumbo jumbo is going to be the death of me someday.” Geoff said, before shaking his head. “Fuck guys… We’re in a really bad position. What do we do?”  
  
“Well, it’s not like we can throw him out on the streets.” Jack said, pausing before looking at Geoff. “You aren’t _honestly_ suggesting that, right?”  
  
“Fuck no Jack, are you shitting me?” Geoff spluttered back. “God I love him just as much as the rest of you I’m not going to kick him out”  
  
“Geoff’s got a point though.” Gavin added solemnly. “Michael might not be the same tosser we’ve known.”  
  
“And we need to prepare for that.” Ryan said. “But damn, it’s still early days guys. He has heaps of time to remember before we have to seriously consider this; honestly I’m sure that we’re going to look back on this and wonder why we were taking this so seriously.”  
  
“Oh yeah, we should have just sat on all this.” Ray replied. “Everything’s fine! Also _I’m not the meme guy_.”  
  
“And we all know what happens when we sit on problems like this.” Jack concluded. Ryan merely nodded in reply; he didn’t need a recap of all the times their miscommunication had lead them to near relationship-breaking situations to realise how necessary this conversation was. However morbid the topic was, better that everybody was aware of it now than them all scrambling through alone.  
  
Kisses were chaste as that particular conversation finally ended, Geoff finally moving off to fix themselves dinner. It felt like forever but slowly the weight lifted off the atmosphere in the room, started to return to the joy that almost always burned bright in the house. And yet when Ryan finally trailed off to bed long after the others went to sleep he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to the closed door where Michael slept, couldn’t help the pang of dread that went through him at the thought of anything but full recovery.  
  
He just hoped Michael would be okay.  
  
-x-  
  
Ryan just couldn’t go back to sleep.  
  
He wasn’t sure why - he was comfortable, he had almost all his boys around him and he didn’t think that Michael not being there would effect him like this. But he knew that wasn’t it - problem was though, knowing that wasn’t the culprit let him stumped on whatever the hell the problem could be. He twisted and turned, tried to wiggle himself under and over his boyfriends in an attempt to sate the unrest in his bones but it was no use. His eyes remained open, his breathing not slipping into the dreamer’s rhythm as he stayed uselessly and frustratingly awake.

Finally giving up the fight for a sleep that wasn’t coming back he found himself in the kitchen not ten minutes later, brewing a cup of coffee he didn’t even remember putting on. It was still dark outside - god, he knew he was an early riser but this was just ridiculous. Street lamps were still the only light outside and beside a lone figure on the other side of the road the streets were completely empty. It was a Sunday morning and it felt like it too; laziness clung to the world like a thick blanket, slowing his mind, slowing the sun from its rising, it seemed to slow time itself as he sunk into his chair in the living room. He reached for the remote, flicking the small lounge room TV to some old rerun of a baking show he wasn’t even sure was still being produced anymore. A mindless show for a mindless man; a perfect fit really.  
  
Ryan was so spaced out, sipping coffee and just barely concentrating on the flashing colors in front of his eyes, that he almost missed the quiet _click_ of the front door lock turning in place. As it was, it took him a few moments to realise that he hadn’t just imagined it and by then the figure was already making his way across the room. Immediately he bolted into action, scrambling to his feet as his fingers clumsily grasped at the lamp light switch next to him. But when it finally flickered on, the light illuminated features that were all too familiar; cherubin features, cheeks flushed from the cold outside, and eyes that he would know even if he knew nothing else.  
  
“ _Micahel?”_ Ryan exclaimed, perhaps a bit too loudly for a house filled with sleeping people. “What are you doing up so early, didn’t you go to-”  
  
“Ryan, holy shit am I glad to see you.” Michael said, pausing before almost seeming to retract his statement. “Wait, its a Sunday, right?”  
  
“Yeah, but aren’t you-”  
  
“And I fell on my fucking face like a total asshole and you brought me here, back _home_ , right?” He continued, his mouth seeming to run away on him.  
  
“Michael, what-”  
  
“And Geoff’s still a loveable ass who would never hurt you intentionally and Gavin’s the worst fucking human being in existence but we love him anyway, and Ray’s a meme loving fuck and you’re an awkward genius and Jack’s lovely and I’m definitely gay as fuck, _right?”  
  
_ “Yes Michael, but why the hell are you asking?” Ryan asked, looking more perplexed than he’d ever been in his life. But the sheer relief that seemed to sprout into Michael’s face was unlike anything else that the bearded man had seen in his life as the redhead flung himself into Ryan’s arms.  
  
“Fuck Ryan, you would not _believe_ the shit I’ve been through the past couple of days. I don’t even think I’d believe it if I hadn’t been there” Michael mumbled into Ryan’s shirt. Now very much woken up by the sheer strangeness of the situation, it didn’t take long for Ryan to wrap his arms right back around the shorter man. The other man just sighed happily, breathing deeply and for a while the two of them just stayed like that; tightly wrapped together, neither of them wanting to break the silence as the sun slowly, finally broke over the horizon. Jack would probably be up soon; Ryan’d probably need to go shower but the thought of leaving Michael made him feel… Uneasy. Perhaps it was the way that Michael was hugging him. Because it was just a bit too tight to be an embrace - it felt more like a grasp, clinging, like Michael was afraid he’d break or shatter if he didn’t hold on tight enough and that just didn’t sit right with him, especially with how fearful he’d been the past few days.  
  
“Michael, I get that you’ve had a bad time but why are you out of bed so early?” He asked, finally pulling himself just a little away from the redhead. “Like, I know you went to bed early but did you go for a walk or something? I didn’t even see you leave.” The look that Michael gave him was as if he’d grown a second head.  
  
“I… I didn’t sleep here last night Ryan.” Michael said slowly, eyeing the older man up. “I’ve been gone for almost two days.”  
  
And Ryan wanted to protest, wanted but something about the look in Michael’s eyes as the emotion went from confusion to worry to a thinly veiled anger just left a lump in his throat he couldn’t ignore. Because, well… Michael was acting more like himself that he had in days, and he couldn’t just ignore that. Frankly, he’d be a fool not to. But at the same time, perhaps his acceptance came quicker as a figure came to a standstill in the doorway. A figure with the same cherubin features, cheeks flushed from the cold of the house compared to his bed, and eyes that he would know even if he knew nothing else.


End file.
